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Nathanielbrownwctn

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Have you ever seen junior tots playing footie? Ki

Have you ever seen junior tots playing footie?

Kiddies so dwt that you a can’t even see their knobbly knees for shorts and socks.

Shirts draped over their shoulders like a beanie on a shrimp.

And footie boots so far out of proportion that you’d think they were hand me downs from a teenage cousin.

I love watching them, there are those that take it so seriously you’d think they we’re playing for the World Cup.

And those that literally just stand there in the middle like a daddy long legs with the legs pulled off.

Some who don’t seem to recognise which foot they’re supposed to kick with and end up looking down at their toes with questions.

And my personal favourites - The terrors that run corner to corner chasing the ball like in that scene from Rocky II where Rocky is chasing chickens around the coop getting nowhere near the ball.

The enthusiasm of these kids is great to see.

And it reminds me of something…

Those January dieters so enthusiastically chasing the ball trying to find the best solution to losing the weight they’ve accumulated over the last month.

Unfortunately by the time they get to the ball it’s already been booted on, and so to another corner they continue chasing.

There are diets everywhere right now, just last night chilling on the couch watching TV I counted 4 adverts and 2 weight loss programmes being aired.

And don’t forget all the promotions and offers on Insta and FB.

It’s total overload.

Thing is, there’s always 1 solution that always works and it’s so obvious and clear it gets me that more people haven’t figured it out yet…

Most of the time it feels as if me and my clients are playing a different game than everyone else and that’s why we get such great results…

But if you want to come and play footie with us, we’re not chasing footballs all over the pitch like the kiddies, we’re playing the professional game and getting results.

Cwtches

Nat

This years New Years To-Do-Instead How many time

This years New Years To-Do-Instead

How many times last year did you hear or read the phrase -

‘It’s been an unprecedented year’

Well I’m not going to compound the negativity of 2020 by stacking up more.

So this year let me tell you what IS precedented…

I’m spending more time saying YES.

That might sound daft to you and I know it’s a classic interview question.

‘So what are weaknesses Mr Brown?’

‘…Well I have a hard time saying NO, so perhaps I work too hard, hmm yes I really should get better at that…’

Yes I know, saying no is also important but in truth I’ve said no far too often over the last 35 years, it’s my time to start saying yessiree Bob.

Yes to new experiences, yes to iced cream on winters days, yes to days out and yes to my deepest fear, spontaneity…

I love structure and anything or anybody that puts my out of routine will be on the receiving end of a fervent gaze.

But this year I'm planning on spreading the positivity and enjoying just about everything that the year can offer, I’m going to say many more yeses.

Secondly…

I’m going to spend more time working with males. Last year was a good 90-95% females which of course I love, but I think it’s time to spread the care a little.

Which means ladies, if you had plans on getting in touch to really smash this year, do so quick because to make sure I only provide a great service, I like to keep my numbers low.

Third and finally…

This years ultimate ‘precedential proposition’ is to be a beacon of light for those that are having a tough time.

Personally I like to reach out and enrich peoples lives, I really do try not to get involved in any of those gastly FB discussions, they aren’t nourishing for the mind or the soul.

And as much as peoples dumbass opinions may annoy me, you can count on me to not get myself intertwined… anymore.

…I reacted to 1 dumbass opinion on New Years eve after a few beers, it stirred me up and pissed me off so I commented…oops

But that was last year, and now I’m a different person, you won’t catch me commenting anything but good hot shit this year.

I’m all about the positivity this year, there’s are no resolutions just some good solid living to be done.

Hey hey, so I done did it… I’ve eaten all the

Hey hey, so I done did it…

I’ve eaten all the Xmas chocolates, I’ve taken my weight and some gosh darn stinking photos of myself that will never see the light of day.

I’ve also decided on what course of action to take to repent for my overindulgent sins at the end of last year.

I feel terrible guilt for the happiness and comfort that my 12 stone 2 frame has collected over the last month.

I’ve written my programme and set myself a target to return to 10 stone 4 over the next 3-5 months before Baby Dogg is born.

I surely can’t be whipping my top off in the hospital for 'skin to skin' time not being in shape… that would be humiliating.

...And so the feelings go.

If only that was really what I was feeling.

The fact is, I know that many of you will likely feel that way now that Xmas is over, it’s likely that you feel the same pangs of guilt and dejection every year actually.

December is the month that you go wild and relax on your inhibitions, and then January you scrape up your sorrows and pack them away along with the decorations only to drape them loosely along the scaffold of your life again next year.

It’s a continuous life cycle of feast and famine, freedom and guilt, pleasure and pain and it happens every single year for life…

The best thing you can do right now at the start of this year is not to find yourself an exciting new fad but actually to invest in learning to understand the basic principles of dieting and exercise that help you to overcome those feelings of guilt and the despondency that accompanies it.

These are the skills that I insist on providing my clients when they start training with me.

I’ve had to learn them myself and I can promise that actually it was easy, and the brilliance is that once you have the skills down you can actually enjoy Xmas every year without the accompanied guilt.

Cwtches

Nat

Well it’s the start of a new year, and today, of

Well it’s the start of a new year, and today, of course, is the day that the new years resolutions click into gear.

I’m going full on this January and starting a…

#Dryketoveganregenautophagusrawjuicedetoxjanuary

It’s going to be a revolution.

New year new you and all that jazz.

Honestly though, it is that Monday, the start of the week, where everyone jumps on the diet and exercise bandwagon.

Unless, that is, you’re like me and received some late Xmas gifts and were devastated to find out that someone has bought you.

Dum dum dum…more chocolates.

I don’t want to sound ungrateful or nothing but…

I have literally just yesterday finished my mega Galaxy bar (you know the ones, they’re about they size and depth of an A4 writing pad) in preparation for starting my diet today.

And then, I open my late Xmas gift and there they are…more chocolates.

But hey, that’s ok, with my new #Dryketoveganregenautophagusrawjuicedetoxjanuary diet I’m allowed 1/5 of a chocolate every 3 and a half weeks, you know how these new diets work with their rigid rules and regulations…

Seriously now.

Because I can be serious too.

Serious enough to tell you that you can do this without doing any of the exciting, new, revolutionary, groundbreaking, fat melting fad diets that will be heavily promoted this January.

Your body will naturally detoxify as you return to a more regular eating pattern with possible less convenience / festive foods and perhaps less alcohol.

You’ll likely even fall back to your pre Xmas weight if you just return to your normal eating pattern, and that’s without the need for any drastic freaky fad diet.

That’s it from me today. Hope you all had a great new year.

I’ll talk a bit more about this tomorrow cuz right now I have a load of Xmas chocolate truffle coffee to drink with some breakfast chocolates on the side.

Ta’ra for today.

Cwtches

Nat

Well we’ve made it to that odd lull between Xmas

Well we’ve made it to that odd lull between Xmas and new year where we think we should be productive…

But actually all we end up doing is lying on the couch in a dressing gown, watching the dregs of Xmas films through a single blurry eye.

And more power to you, it’s been a hell of a year, and you deserve this time right now to chill out.

Relax, unwind, enjoy family time, eat turkey rolls, stress yourself out putting the kids toys together and steal the AA batteries from the remote control of the DVD player to power your new digital photo frame.

Use this time wisely, we don’t yet know what next year will bring.

I have a hell of a year planned and I’m excited for the potential of what it can bring.

I wish you all the best for the New Year.

Cwtches.

Nat

It’s done guys, you did it, you made it through

It’s done guys, you did it, you made it through Xmas unscathed.

You can get rid of the bloody Elf for another year and use the little lull we now have to really relax, eat all the chocolate you have accrued over Xmas ready to start your new health plan in the new year.

I really do hope you had a great time.

I certainly did.

I think I ascended to a completely new level of drunkenness, where I managed to actually hallucinate about Angels singing.

I would tell you more about it but I can’t remember a bloody thing…

I’m back in office today for a few hours sorting out clients and replying to emails and messages.

Speak to you guys tomorrow.

For now, enjoy the next few days, relax and make the most of the rest.

Cwtches.

Nat

I am currently OUT OF OFFICE getting pissed and fu

I am currently OUT OF OFFICE getting pissed and fully emerging myself in Xmas festivities.

Any emails or messages will be swiftly dealt with once my hangover clears, the mince pies are eaten and my festive pyjamas have been washed on 70°.

Enjoy the next few days you wonderful and cooky hero’s, I know you’re all fighting your own fights so I’ve drunk port and saluted you all this Xmas eve.

Love to all.

Cwtches.

Nat

No matter how many times they lock us down they wi

No matter how many times they lock us down they will never take our freedom.

Sometimes I feel like I need to stand at the peak of a sheer cliff shouting at the world much like William Wallace in the epic Braveheart.

FREEEEEDOOOMMMMM.

In that famous scene, whilst he’s having his entrails separated from his body, Mr Wallace is ever reluctant in giving up his vision.

I know, I know, the heads of our great kingdom have done it again, they’ve taken away our basic liberties and restricted our freedoms to enjoy Christmas this year with family.

Those bastards…

It’s painful and it’s plucked many a bauble from our already wilting Christmas trees.

But even now, guts in a heap, I’m not going to complain.

Although my vision may be different from dear Wallaces.

Rather than preventing the English from overthrowing Scotland with sharpened steel.

I want to use my teachings to preach to the maddening crowds the vision that you can still enjoy the festivities this year.

Before you start pelting me with eggs and cabbages, my message is simply this.

Do your best to keep spirits up.

Grab a pitch fork and sling this years shit over your shoulder.

Spit shine the dirty cheeks of your descendants.

Drink your mead and be merry.

Nobody in our great kingdom is going to prevent me from enjoying this Christmas.

Fuck em.

Cwtches and a very merry Christmas.

Nat

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